i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
