Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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