I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
try to milk me bitch
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