Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
