So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
