i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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