why didn't you poke me back
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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