Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
