The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
