She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
