my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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