I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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