Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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