man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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