He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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