Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
