Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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