Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize