It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
