he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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