I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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