hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize