listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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