my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
