found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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