OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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