Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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