I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize