I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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