peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
