Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
