I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
