dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
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my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
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he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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