If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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