can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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