Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  What a fucking waste of an outfit

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  (415): What a fucking waste of an outfit http://tfl.nu/q0u1
  Replies (8) Good night (528) Bad night (1207)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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  (972): she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick. http://tfl.nu/7fj1
  Replies (16) Good night (5625) Bad night (647)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.

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  (913): "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/szr3
  Replies (61) Good night (971) Bad night (10980)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

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  (952): Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home. http://tfl.nu/0k8h
  Replies (27) Good night (1513) Bad night (4006)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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  (480): he seriously made his penis a facebook. http://tfl.nu/bto1
  Replies (15) Good night (4360) Bad night (1850)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.

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  (506): No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better. http://tfl.nu/gi84
  Replies (5) Good night (2587) Bad night (932)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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  (360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6
  Replies (45) Good night (1945) Bad night (3877)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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  (802): I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress' http://tfl.nu/zrhx
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (758)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

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  (214): She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water. http://tfl.nu/39g2
  Replies (11) Good night (712) Bad night (1805)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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  (716): Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day. http://tfl.nu/hsum
  Replies (4) Good night (1189) Bad night (545)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?

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  (412): Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with? http://tfl.nu/cuy6
  Replies (7) Good night (1496) Bad night (921)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (767) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm

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  (317): Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm http://tfl.nu/8nyo
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (399)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (292)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (247)

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