Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

Fav 9 814 2416
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

Fav 26 5571 987
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla

Fav 13 4795 1706
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.

Fav 7 5670 1655
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"

Fav 17 1271 5416
share tweet
(212): View more from New York

Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

Fav 18 2029 1046
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

Fav 13 2790 1347
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

Fav 2 602 876
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.

Fav 1 16 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT