Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't get it.

(501): View more from Arkansas

Me neither.

(501): View more from Arkansas

But I masturbated to it anyway.

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(870): I don't get it. (501): Me neither. (501): But I masturbated to it anyway. http://tfl.nu/tklr

Replies (23) Good night (2309) Bad night (852)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"

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(417): You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!" http://tfl.nu/8q6j

Replies (6) Good night (2799) Bad night (933)
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(518): View more from New York

i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.

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(518): i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage. http://tfl.nu/gxvx

Replies (6) Good night (3029) Bad night (981)
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(585): View more from New York

I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

(1-585): View more from New York

You are so irish.

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(585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr

Replies (19) Good night (7185) Bad night (1052)
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(917): View more from New York City

Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.

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(917): Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you. http://tfl.nu/j1py

Replies (6) Good night (3584) Bad night (1038)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.

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(734): I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys. http://tfl.nu/1rd4

Replies (14) Good night (4543) Bad night (1138)
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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself

(612): View more from Minnesota

It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...

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(319): i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself (612): It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool... http://tfl.nu/lubj

Replies (7) Good night (3012) Bad night (1065)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(502): I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high. http://tfl.nu/gsqh

Replies (8) Good night (2020) Bad night (761)
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(361): View more from Texas

I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body

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(361): I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body http://tfl.nu/4g9m

Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (580)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season

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(601): I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season http://tfl.nu/0ij4

Replies (7) Good night (578) Bad night (1387)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.

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(715): i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/dafx

Replies (0) Good night (1047) Bad night (407)
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(515): View more from Iowa

He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?

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(515): He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for? http://tfl.nu/vbci

Replies (4) Good night (1243) Bad night (332)
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(323): View more from California

He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.

(323): View more from California

Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.

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(323): He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour. (323): Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks. http://tfl.nu/2ar3

Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (332)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?

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(732): Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right? http://tfl.nu/3fwy

Replies (9) Good night (879) Bad night (398)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras

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(504): Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras http://tfl.nu/enu7

Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (360)

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