You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.