Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
