i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Terrible idea I love it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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