He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
