Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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