Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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