I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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