i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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