I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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