talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
