I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.