Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.