id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic