Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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