The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize