Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
