Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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