Where did you get a picture of my penis
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
