Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
