And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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