Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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