I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
