You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
