He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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